Stages of preparation before change takes place

It seems that there are stages of preparation we go through before actual change takes place. James Prochaska, PhD, a University of Rhode Island psychologist is the co-author of the book, Changing for Good (William Morrow and Company). He explains that people equate change with action. Yet action, he believes is only the fourth stage in the process of change.

Action cannot take place, Prochaska argues, unless it is preceeded by the following:
Pre-contemplation—feeling that the situation is hopeless or denying that there is a problem.
Contemplation—accepting that there is a problem and beginning to think seriously about changing it.
Preparation—developing a firm, detailed scheme for action.
Prochaska points out that there is a pressure to so something, but you can't succeed unless you have a plan. He likens it to trying to get through the Boston Marathon on sheer willpower. So in order to make lasting change, don't give up jsut because you haven't succeeded yet, think it through carefully, come up with a good plan, and be very specific with your goals so you'll know it when you get there!

Getting Ready for 2008!?

Do your New Year’s Resolutions seem the same every year? Or similar anyway. Are you like most of us—you make some resolutions in January to improve yourself in some way and then by February they’re put away in the cellar with the holiday decorations? Well, you’re not alone! Don’t despair since many people take a couple of years before they succeed! Taking some action appears to help the process even if you don’t reach your goals the first time.

“All those failures may have been leading toward eventual success.”

So if you’re reading this in February or even July, there’s still hope. You’re more likely to succeed than someone who hasn’t tried any Resolutions whatsoever. It reminds me of the thousands of times I tried to quit smoking. I thought about it often, you might even say at times I obsessed about it. I planned how I would do it and tried every technique from chewing gum, to nibbling on carrots, waiting until after lunch, trying to wait 15 agonizing minutes after a meal.

This was before the patch and I’m sure I would have tried that too. The point is all those many failures may have been leading me towards eventual success. Maybe even building upon each other. And in fact, I did succeed and now about 12 years later I can barely remember what it was like to be a smoker!

Give Youself A Gift

Now, here’s a little bonus gift-giving idea.

Every time someone cuts in front of you in traffic or is rude to you in a store or whatever it is that makes you mad, give them this gift: Let it go – pardon them! Really try it.

Even though you don’t know the person, say to yourself: “My gift to you this holiday season is to let you off the hook. I won’t get mad or even with you. I know you are stressed and rushed and maybe there’s some good reason for your actions. But I’m not going to let you ruin my mood or holiday spirit.”

And the neat thing is by giving this gift to others, you’ll really be giving yourself an added gift of peace and serenity!

The real trick is to plan these bright spots for yourself, and pay yourself first, sort of like saving money. Don’t let the day get away from you even if your to-do list is a mile long. Those to-do’s will still be there if you take a short break.

The second trick is to extend this into the New Year and really make it a new way of living. You don’t need to even consider this a New Year’s Resolution. Anyway, you’ll have already started giving yourself these little bright break spots and by January you will just need to keep it going!

Why not give yourself a gift this holiday season and resolve to take care of yourself. What I mean is to take care of your own needs as the craziness sets in. Though you are focused on everyone else you can’t really take care of others if you neglect yourself and end up stressed, irritable and resentful. Now this advice is for all of us who are just doing the usual things to get ready for the holidays, but it doubly applies if you are a caretaker of someone who is elderly or disabled or perhaps a child with special needs.

What do you do that gives you a smile? What bright spots in your day give you a respite even if only for a few minutes? It doesn’t have to take a lot of time or money. Here are a few suggestions, but you must create your own list for this to really make a difference.
Doing a crossword or sudoku puzzle
Exercise ~ even a brief walk or a series of stretches
Reading the comics or anything humorous.
Read a chapter of your favorite book
Meditation, prayer or reading something inspirational
Even just a few moments of silence
Your favorite music ~ in the car, at work or while you’re doing chores
A special taste treat ~ whether fresh fruit or lunch with a friend.
Chocolate works well I’m told!

Holiday Spirit - how to keep it

I don't know about you, but right about now it gets difficult to keep my holiday spirit. Too many rude, angry drivers and shoppers and sometimes family members!